Enjoy Stress Free Relationships by Cheryl Janecky
Are you stressed after holiday (or family) gatherings? Gatherings with friends or family are a special time of celebration. If you are not enjoying them all, then you are cheating yourself out of a good time.
Do you take relationships for granted? Are others important to you? It’s easy to forget how much you care and rely on others. Nothing has a greater impact on your sense of Well-being than how you see and relate to other people. Your relationships with your family and friends are of primary importance to your achieving lasting stress free happiness.
Attitudes are choices you make.
You do not have to wait for them to improve. You need only improve your Attitude about them. No one needs to change for you to be happy: Only you need to change.
For instant stress relief in relating to others - see them in a new way. Sound impossible? It’s not. Your peace of mind depends on it.
Have you noticed that some seem to get along with everyone? Here's how they do it: Focus on appreciation and gratitude for the good fortune you all share – and ignore everything else.
Change your mind and you change your relationships.
Your viewpoint is the only thing you can change so start there. Do you always love your family and friends? Even the ornery ones? Some are tough, aren't they? Yet it’s possible to end conflicts with others, enjoy them, and ignore what you don’t like.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Carl Jung
"Ignoring" is not "approval" of what you don’t like.
It’s instead not participating in what another chooses that is not right for you. That is the quick path to stress free relations. There really isn’t another choice that will make you happy. Here’s why.
Stress is an inner conflict.
Stress is both "wanting and resisting" at the same time. You want loving relationships and fun with others, but may fear, disapprove or dislike certain traits. You can shift from disapproval to approval quicker than you imagine simply by seeing that it is the process in your mind that is annoying you.
"Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which will never happen." James Russel
You wouldn’t bother disliking others except that you feel threatened. Others can't interfere with you. Your resistance and annoyance of them is bringing out the worst in both of you -- and that’s what is interfering with you. Whatever you experience is attracted to you by what you feel. You feel what you tell yourself to feel. If you are expecting annoying traits you find them. If you are expecting a fun time you find it.
Fearful attitudes are only habits.
Once you feel fearful or anxious, you look for a reason and find one, blaming another for what you are feeling. Fear is a trap that clouds reason and always leads to stress and frustration.
So what do you tell yourself? Complaining, judgmental, annoyed? If you see what you don't like - you'll get more of that. Your attention to it is drawing it out. Then you resist them, and they resist you...and you feel worse, and so do they....hmmmm, no one is going to enjoy this encounter, right? Not good!
Instant stress relief: Love and right-relationships.
You are doing it, so you can stop it. Break that habit today. Switch - take one quick step - to unconditional (means - no conditions) total acceptance. Sound big? It’s not. It’s easy.
Simply create a new habit to replace the old fearful one.
You did not know that was an option. Now you know. Do that for yourself (not them) so you feel good and then you can enjoy the parts of them that do interest you.
It's a simple mechanical process: A fear triggers an emotion- you feel bad. You react (old habit) blaming them - Now stop it! Declare a moratorium on feeling bad, angry and hurt.
Gossip, judgment and blame are social games that damage friendships and your peace of mind. You keep it alive, and you can stop it.
Change to the new habit of accepting them: one quick step.
Find something you do like about them...that makes you smile. Concentrate on it until you do smile. Practice it - and repeat it - until it sticks.
Reality check
It's working when you think of them and smile - no matter what.
The fact is they do not have the power to make you feel bad. You do it to yourself subconsciously from old fears and habits. Good news! You are doing it: You can quit it.
Is this an "....ah HA! moment?" Just like you do not eat poisoned food, cut out of your mind ideas that poison your relationships.
Love and acceptance is the best gift you can give to your family and loved ones. Your happiness this holiday season is all up to you.
Your Good Fortune for today: "Of all the gifts you receive-- the greatest is the love you give."
Cheryl Janecky is the expert on attracting Good Fortune and quick easy steps to Living the Dream stress free. Get the facts and FREE "21 Insights, tips and strategies" at http://www.quick-good-fortune.com/Stress-Relief-Today.html. Copyright 2009 © The Good Fortune Company LLC - All Rights reserved.
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